Why I Don't Work Here Anymore by Kusy Mitchell

Author:Kusy, Mitchell
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781351399418
Publisher: Taylor & Francis (CAM)

Following these four steps will help you better understand your enabling role, as well as the behavior you will need to change. Working with protector or buffer clients I have coached, I have discovered that both hearing and doing something about this is not easy, because these individuals have invested a lot of time and energy into enabling. However, once they make a decision to do something about it, success can be swift and effective.

What to Do If Someone Else Is a Toxic Protector or Buffer

Since toxic protectors and buffers are much more open to feedback than toxic people, you can capitalize on this statistic if you see someone who is either a toxic protector or buffer. In this way, you could be the catalyst who indirectly helps challenge the person to new behaviors. Here’s a clear strategy for engaging toxic protectors or buffers in understanding how their behaviors enable toxic individuals:

Sensitivity with focus. First, be sensitive. Many protectors and buffers are doing what they think is right in order to keep the status quo and not upset the “apple cart.” Be gentle but direct; focus on the behavior—the toxic person’s as well as the toxic protector/buffer.

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